Bullet points, footnotes, over considering things I don’t really need to consider yet.

This last Thursday I went on a trip to a local arts school, which was super inspiring. Going there pretty much cemented the fact that I actually don’t want to be a librarian- or any other form of desk job- however, which is a thought I’ve been trying to ignore for the last little while. I’ve been attempting to ignore this because I really like the concept of having my life packaged up in a neat tidy little box. My previous box was:

  • Graduate with a few I.B. courses and a scholarship or two.
  • Use the above to partially skip/fund my first year of university at Memorial.
  • Get my B.A. at Memorial, my Masters at Dal, graduate…
  • Get a job? Fingers crossed?

All sounds good, but something clicked the other day, and all the thoughts I’ve been thinking came together and I realized that:

 The turn over rate for being a librarian, at least where I live, is miserable. As books become more and more outmoded my hopeful job would become more and more likely to just involve working with data and information on a computer, or some such. Sitting in a room and affixing labels to books, assessing their condition. Sitting behind a desk, holding small volunteer events that nobody really comes to. Not only would I not be assured of getting a job- after all that time spent in University- it wouldn’t really be a job I would want.

 To paraphrase a local librarian I once talked to, “You’re thinking of getting that degree? That’s great! Very excellent. Oh, you want to know about the chances of actually getting hired? Well…hehehehehe…how do you feel about moving somewhere cold and wet where the sun never shines?”

 So. Yeah. Things just clicked, and I realized that the neat little box wrapped with a bow I had was more like a wet sheet of newsprint tied up in twine.

 I’m not throwing the plan entirely out the window. I’m far too anal and too much of a perfectionist to not want to know what I’m doing with my life. However, there is a good chance that it’s going to be in the arts. There is also a good chance that unless people throw scholarships at my head when I graduate (no matter what my plans, I will apply, because free money is my favorite kind of money) I will be open to the idea of taking a gap year, in which I get a bunch of jobs, sell things I make, and see if following my dream of having an art driven career is actually going to work out. If it does, great, I’ll probably go take a degree in costume design, or fiber arts -thank heavens I have no plans for raising a family, because I’m quite aware that those careers offer no immediate stability. If it doesn’t, cool, but at least I will have a better idea of which more conservative, ‘normal’ job I do want to go after.

 In summary, a few thoughts.

  •  I’m in grade 11: I can take a breath, if not a deep one, before putting plans into action.
  • I don’t hate where I live, but I certainly don’t want to allow myself to become settled here.
  • Art is cool, it’s my passion if I can say that without sounding cheesy, and even if in few years time I change my mind, I can always switch out. I just don’t want to be stuck behind a desk, doing something that bores me senseless in order to afford to send my kids* to school, pay for the house the husband and I bought in the burbs**, and the second car.

 Well, that  was a spiel. But I’m actually not stressed about this. I’m too self motivated*** to become a burnout, so maybe I’ll put a little faith in my future self to know what’s up.

*Apparently my brain correlates sitting in a cubicle with having a sudden change of heart and wanting kids.

**No offense to those who live in the suburbs. You guys always have Arcade Fire to fall back on.

***I fully realize that this comes off as an egotistical statement, but it’s true, simply because I like being in control of my life. Hence the fact that I just wrote out this many paragraphs on a topic that I don’t need to consider to this degree until sometime next year.

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From sun dresses to questioning my life choices, in one fell swoop!

 Spring is slowly beginning to happen, but with it’s fair share of hanging around like the typical wall flower that it always is. It’s amusing to detach and observe the manner in which my friends and I are wearing increasingly summer time clothing, despite the less than encouraging weather conditions. Somehow we seem to have all subconsciously passed a memo that in order to get the sun to come out we should start wearing sun dresses, causing the strangest, most goose bump filled form of silent protest to commence.

 Along with spring comes the school musical. I auditioned for it (this year it’s going to be “Kiss me Kate”) but never actually went through with the call back. I’m too busy, and at this point (when I already have two scripts to finish memorizing for drama fest) that’s really not something I regret. From everything I’ve heard it’s really unorganized…not to say that I don’t think the people in it won’t be great as individuals, but I have my doubts about the musical as a whole. It doesn’t help that the choir director/head of the music department/momma bear of the school known as Ms. G is on sabbatical, hence not being there for musical. From everything I can tell she seems to be the glue that holds the school’s music oriented side together,  despite the adorable, eccentric, charm that her substitute is overflowing with.

 Because of musical crunch time, half of the people I know are continually busy. Between the musical, general business, IB work, and the fact that most of my friends aren’t good at making plans without cell phones (spontaneity is only so good when you’re the person in the group who no one can reach) I haven’t really been setting times to hang out with many people. The effect of this is that I had a weekend where (excepting a sleepover with Tatyana) all I did was sit at home, laze, and do homework. On the one hand, it was actually quite nice and refreshing. On the other hand, I realized that if that becomes something that is repeated often, I’m probably going to get pretty bored with my life.

 My close friend Tatyana is moving away soon though, so I have been trying to make as many plans with her as possible. It’s been about a year since we first started hanging out, and we’ve gotten really close over that time period. In part, most likely due to the fact that in the group of people we commonly hang out in we are the two people who are the least offensive/still have emotions. The ability to have feelings is bonding, who wooda thunk. Of course the downside to being the two people in a friend group with emotions is that we probably will be the ones least likely to deal well with her moving across Canada. Well, at least just speaking for myself, I’m not going to be any good at it. Bleh.

 It’s scary, because I know that she’s not going to be the only one moving away. Come this fall and Maegan and Julianne, two friends from the same group, are going to be gone, though not quite so far away. Watching people move away is one of those reminders that others are growing up, I’m growing up, and at some point I have to just go live life. The problem is that I don’t know whether growing up means that the friendships I have now are going to be the ones I leave behind with the most ease, or that the friendships I’m making now are the ones that will follow me as I slip into being an adult. 

 How much can I even plan right now? Should I just let things happen, because at this point in my life anything I try to plan isn’t going to count for much in the long run anyways? Or should I carefully structure things, as these next few years will be the base to adulthood? Should I let myself and my plans be influenced by those who are close to me now, or should I be accustomed to leaving friends behind, because in the end that’s what will happen anyways?

Jeebus. I got on the computer to watch Doctor Who, not sure how things got so introspective so fast.

The text content of this post is ignorable, but it has cute cats.

Whenever I actually sit down to blog I go through a thought process:

  1. Man, I have so much stuff I could complain about…AND THAT’S ALL I EVER DO ON HERE. Maybe I should mix it up.
  2. I’m sure I must have some small bloggable anecdote from my day. Probably. Maybe. If I could just remember it. There’s a chance it happened.
  3. Cats are great.
  4. Aw, screw it. I’m sleepy.

 Lately my life, as always, has been consumed by English class (1). However, the last few nights, I’ve been procrastinating by playing my Mother’s -notably bright green- ukelele. In fact, there is currently a corner of my room that consists of a ukelele, hammock, guitar, bookcase, and spinning wheel, due to the way I have my room rearranged. I really quite like this corner of my room. I feel like as far as corners of rooms go, it deserves it’s own special little award, like a little star presented in some sort of ceremony. The ceremonial star-badge is negated by the fact that none of the corners in my room have learned to clean themselves. I’ll just hold the ceremonial stars over their heads (Heads? Corners have heads? Well, I guess they must have heads if they have bodies I’m attaching star shaped badges to.) until my room learns to be a self motivated structure, that takes responsibility for it’s actions, and does it’s own laundry, like a adult room. My room is certainly old enough (As far as rooms in old houses go, it’s an old room in an old house.) to cut out this childish nonsense and pick up a vacuum cleaner in a while.

It’s at this point in the night that I realize my “small bloggable anecdotes” are more like “long crazy deluges that don’t make any sense and personify inanimate objects a lot.” (2)

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To distract you from the crazy, cats? I thought they looked amusingly like an avant garde piece about social pressures as seen from different perspectives. Or maybe a piece about yin and yang. Silly performance artists felines. (3)

 

And on that note, I am in fact tired. (4)

Hopefully I get back into the swing of blogging and a bit less rusty at it soon enough…

K

 

Things I have come to terms with:

Or am coming to terms with.

Or will die trying to come to terms with.

  1. I will never be able to properly wolf whistle.
  2. My eyesight is always going to be awful. 
  3. This semester is going to be a lot of hard work, especially when it comes to English class. Mostly when it comes to English class.
  4. I am always going to enjoy Austen more than Dickens. Read “North Hanger Abbey” and then tell me you find Dickens more amusing. I dare you.
  5. Marks that are less than ninety percent leave me feeling unfulfilled and rather passively aggressively angry with myself. This is mildly silly on my behalf, but I’ve managed to attain it so far, so I guess I might as well keep it up.
  6. If I don’t get enough sleep, I get very sad and cynical and unhappy. 
  7. I require a lot of sleep.
  8. Hot chocolate is going to make my stomach feel nauseous more often that it will ever make my stomach feel happy.
  9. As awfully shallow as it is, looking nice makes me feel nice. 
  10. The little neat-freak that is in me really likes lists. Especially lists that end with tidy numbers like ten.

Venting, with a sprinkling of adorable aquatic life.

With the new semester starting I can feel the usual descent into stress beginning to slowly make it’s way around me and my group of friends, much like a bad cold. Other similarities to a bad cold include a decreased ability to tolerate people and a distinct wish to stay in bed surrounded by comfort food. (The closer to graduation, the more one is affected by said stress/cold.)

My math teacher went on a rant about how Universities are going to be looking at some of my marks starting in grade eleven. This rant took place the very first day back, coincidentally a pretty crazy, long day which made me ridiculously tired. I rather wish she had put off the rant for a day or two, just for the sake of not killing my brain by completely and totally overwhelming it. I wish the majority of teachers didn’t think that scaring their students would cause good marks to happen. It doesn’t really work like that.

In fact, at the moment I’m just really overwhelmed by everything.

On the plus side:

  • I’ve been feeling creative, even if I don’t always have much time to express that.
  • Reading “Love in the Time of Cholera” for English is comparatively painless the second time through.
  • The music teacher who is subbing in while Ms G is on sabbatical seems straight out of some strange, quirky, forties inspired indie movie. She’s adorable.
  • Dolphins are really really really cute. Painfully so. Just look at them.

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Have an excellent day free of any “colds”.

 Kaelen.

As we all know, it’s exam time. (If you weren’t aware of this fact I’m not sure what sort of god-forsaken rock you’re living under, but is there room for two?) It’s time to study, apply oneself and of course totally not -not one little bit at all not even a tiny ounce- put scads of books interesting and distracting on hold at the library. Of course not. Remembering how much fun reading is all of a sudden right when you’re in the middle of crunch time is something that only a silly person would do. Only an even sillier person would follow through and put book after book on hold, using their extended lunchbreaks in-between exams to (study you say? Nah, what an idea!) pick up said books from the library, maybe drooling slightly with anticipation.

Hah. Yeah. Silly people. Tee-hee.

Of course, the silliest of all the silly people are the ones who walk into the library and ask the librarians if they have any holds in…and before said silly person even has a chance to take their library card out of their wallet the librarian, recognizing them, goes and grabs their books for them without so much as needing to ask the silly person’s name.

Said silly person, having reached the point in their life where the librarians know them by name…said silly person probably just got their week made.

-Kaelen.
Light play 014
PS: light painting is the coolest. As are cats.
PPS: good luck on exams, folks!
PPPS: for what it’s worth, one of the library security guards knows me by name too. We have fangirling conversations about Sherlock. He recommends this site.

Christmas and Stuff

Break so far has consisted of: movies in which attractive people shoot and kiss each other, knitting scads of things, wearing sweaters, drinking tea, beautifully campy Doctor Who specials, and so on and so forth. I’ve not made too much of a dent in my homework, but with 2/3 of  “Great Expectations” down I can placate myself by saying that I still have time to finish everything else that needs to be done. Really, I’ve just been hibernating in my room, with occasional visits to that strange thing known as the ‘outside world’.

Christmas was good, although having that many excited kids on the present ripping rampage that early in the morning was a bit chaotic for my sleep fogged brain.

The photographer would like to apologize for the blurriness, lack of eye contact, and general mediocrity of the following images. The photographer would like to advise her viewers to remember that children are squirmy and that during Christmas Break not all teenagers are wise enough to go to bed as early as would be advisable. 

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Loot was received and crowed over, consumerism was celebrated, massive amounts of food were prepared, and slightly less massive amounts of food were consumed. It was a good Christmas!

happy birthday jesus rent

 

 

 

In Summary

It’s super snowy out, and even my grinch like sensibilities that normally detest the cold white stuff have been laying low. Good job winter, you’ve managed to win me over.

photo 5

Obnoxiously instagramming things is a hideous addiction.

The Year In General:

 Made some pretty cool friends, and got closer with some nifty people that I already knew.

Began to volunteer at the library. Because books and resumes and stuff!

Finished grade ten and began grade eleven, having probably adjusted as much to public school as I ever will. I don’t know how much I’m learning in the majority of my classes as compared to how much I learned while homeschooled, but it’s interesting to see how the rest of the world does that learning thing.

Was in this awesome play over the summer and got to hang out with all these cool people a whole lot.

Was in this awesome play over the summer and got to hang out with all these cool people a whole lot.

Actually made money using my hobbies. Which is a -very welcome- first! And considering that over the course of the year I’ve probably made around $300-$400 just off of ‘doing my thing’, that’s pretty cool, ignoring that it’s spread out over the course of a year. Never did get a job, but if I squint and ignore the math, that’s still pretty cool.

Went to Novia Scotia twice, once with youth group and once with my school’s choir. Two very different trips, but both were great and involved high amounts of snuggling.

Went to TEC, which, if you’re into the whole Jesus thing, I can’t recommend enough. If you’re not, then it really wouldn’t be your cup of tea, but as someone who digs Christianity, it was amazing and I can’t wait to volunteer there in a few months, hopefully giving other people the same  wonderful experience. (side note: I have never been fed so much food as during the weekend I spent there.)

I’ve gotten more comfortable with my singing voice. It’s stil not amazing, but for a theatre kid, being able to not be embarrassed when you sing is a huge relief.

I've gotten a bit better at photoshop. A nice little accomplishment.

I’ve gotten a bit better at photoshop. A nice little accomplishment, though there’s still lots of room for improvement.

Had a ‘we’ve-been-together-one-year-that’s-a-while-that’s-cool’ with my boyfriend. Very nifty.

Despite the predictions of my parents upon seeing how much I was doing, I didn’t have a nervous breakdown, which I probably count as a little bit more of a triumph than  it actually is.

Knit my first full size sweater! …Another one of those things which I probably am counting as more of a victory than need be.

Learned to play the guitar, more or less. Actually, put emphasis on the ‘less’, but still! I can do things, I just can’t do them well. Either way, slowly being able to count an instrument as being ‘under my belt’ is astonishingly satisfying.

Continued to miss all of my west coast family, including the latest addition shown here. (hint, she's the one in the pink.)

Continued to miss all of my west coast family, including the latest addition shown here. (hint, she’s the one in the pink.)

And that’s a wrap. A year and stuff. Weird to think that next time I’ll be typing one of these up I’ll be going on seventeen and close to graduation. Passage of time, aren’t you just the silliest little thing? Happy New Year’s Eve. Go get up to some shenanigans or something.

Mad Rush

I used to have time. Tee-hee. What a silly memory that is now.

Don’t mind me, it’s just production week(end), I have to write the vast majority of a commentary in the next forty eight hours, there are still loads of Christmas presents that need me to figure them out, I was sick for far too long earlier this week (Coincidentally, the first break I’ve had in a long time was earlier this week. I think feeling horrible may have been about worth it for the guilt free time off.), IB art is about to get extra time consuming, and to top it all off  there seem to be choir events every fifteen  minutes.

Deep breath.

On the plus side:

  • I think, after all this time, I’m getting the hang of doing stage makeup on guys. The key appears to be babying them like crazy, while you do something perfectly simple like apply eyeliner. Occasionally, the key might also be pinning them down through sheer force. Whatever works for the situation.
  • Christmas break is coming up, sweetsweetsweet hallelujah.
  • You remember that Halifax trip, which I kept mentioning on here, but then never actually wrote about one it happened? Yeah, well, that happened and it was awesome. Good memories were made, instant noodles were eaten, Christmas presents were bought, I took my first picture with Santa.
  • As of late, I may be indulging in the Rent soundtrack on repeat just a little bit more often than normal. Don’t judge me.
  • I took my first post-iact-show trip to Dairy Queen tonight. Apparently this is some sort of initiation procedure I just never really went through, so tonight fixed that, and now I can count as a true Iactor.
  • I’ve heard my English teacher swear twice, casually, in her lesson-teaching-conversation as of late. This is something that requires you know my English teacher (and the full extent of her religious, strict, work ethic filled presence in the school consciousness) in order for you to be as tickled by this fact as I am. Seeing that teachers are indeed human is surprisingly refreshing.

Alright,  I’m going to go do the minimal amount of homework possible for me to go to bed without feeling guilty. If browsing the internet counted as being productive,  holy hades, tonight I was one little paragon. Allow me to leave you with a completely unexplainable gif of  Leonardo DiCaprio with a sloth-head because, really, why not?

sloth titanic

 

Kaelen.

“not a face”

I haven’t had hot chocolate in far too long. I don’t know why I really regret this, seeing as by the end of an average mug of hot chocolate my stomach no longer wishes to associate with me. Stomach association aside, it’s fall, leaves are turning colours and making for some satisfyingly crunchy walks (my friends look at me strangely, but it’s worth it)– it’s hot chocolate season!

It’s also soup season, apple crisp season, pie season, tea season, and many more.
If I didn’t believe that every season is food season, I think fall would win that award.

In news completely unrelated to ingesting things, art class is a hip hopping time. Alongside the other IB11 student, I’ve been making a clay cast of my face.

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The procedure for this is kinda interesting and full of many steps that go something like:
1- Spread scads of petroleum jelly over face. Cringe throughout. Apply a little more for good effect. Cringe yet more because that stuff is nasty.
2- Lie still while people put plaster of Paris bandages on your face. Try not to laugh. Fail, not miserably, but somewhat disconsolately.
3-Once everything is dry and off your face, pick the plaster out of your teeth for the entirety of your next class.
4- Using the plaster cast, shape a clay model of your face, and begin to paint said model once it has been fired.
5- Realize skin is really hard to paint. Realize nostrils are really hard to paint. Realize painting is hard.
6- Instagram your “not-a-face” like crazy throughout the previous five steps.

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Enjoy food season!
Kaelen

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