From sun dresses to questioning my life choices, in one fell swoop!

 Spring is slowly beginning to happen, but with it’s fair share of hanging around like the typical wall flower that it always is. It’s amusing to detach and observe the manner in which my friends and I are wearing increasingly summer time clothing, despite the less than encouraging weather conditions. Somehow we seem to have all subconsciously passed a memo that in order to get the sun to come out we should start wearing sun dresses, causing the strangest, most goose bump filled form of silent protest to commence.

 Along with spring comes the school musical. I auditioned for it (this year it’s going to be “Kiss me Kate”) but never actually went through with the call back. I’m too busy, and at this point (when I already have two scripts to finish memorizing for drama fest) that’s really not something I regret. From everything I’ve heard it’s really unorganized…not to say that I don’t think the people in it won’t be great as individuals, but I have my doubts about the musical as a whole. It doesn’t help that the choir director/head of the music department/momma bear of the school known as Ms. G is on sabbatical, hence not being there for musical. From everything I can tell she seems to be the glue that holds the school’s music oriented side together,  despite the adorable, eccentric, charm that her substitute is overflowing with.

 Because of musical crunch time, half of the people I know are continually busy. Between the musical, general business, IB work, and the fact that most of my friends aren’t good at making plans without cell phones (spontaneity is only so good when you’re the person in the group who no one can reach) I haven’t really been setting times to hang out with many people. The effect of this is that I had a weekend where (excepting a sleepover with Tatyana) all I did was sit at home, laze, and do homework. On the one hand, it was actually quite nice and refreshing. On the other hand, I realized that if that becomes something that is repeated often, I’m probably going to get pretty bored with my life.

 My close friend Tatyana is moving away soon though, so I have been trying to make as many plans with her as possible. It’s been about a year since we first started hanging out, and we’ve gotten really close over that time period. In part, most likely due to the fact that in the group of people we commonly hang out in we are the two people who are the least offensive/still have emotions. The ability to have feelings is bonding, who wooda thunk. Of course the downside to being the two people in a friend group with emotions is that we probably will be the ones least likely to deal well with her moving across Canada. Well, at least just speaking for myself, I’m not going to be any good at it. Bleh.

 It’s scary, because I know that she’s not going to be the only one moving away. Come this fall and Maegan and Julianne, two friends from the same group, are going to be gone, though not quite so far away. Watching people move away is one of those reminders that others are growing up, I’m growing up, and at some point I have to just go live life. The problem is that I don’t know whether growing up means that the friendships I have now are going to be the ones I leave behind with the most ease, or that the friendships I’m making now are the ones that will follow me as I slip into being an adult. 

 How much can I even plan right now? Should I just let things happen, because at this point in my life anything I try to plan isn’t going to count for much in the long run anyways? Or should I carefully structure things, as these next few years will be the base to adulthood? Should I let myself and my plans be influenced by those who are close to me now, or should I be accustomed to leaving friends behind, because in the end that’s what will happen anyways?

Jeebus. I got on the computer to watch Doctor Who, not sure how things got so introspective so fast.

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One thought on “From sun dresses to questioning my life choices, in one fell swoop!

  1. Oh Kaelen… don’t worry so… you are more important than the little sparrows. Commit each day to Him and He will direct your paths (doors open, contacts happen, opportunities arise and you get to do effortless, joyous, never boring, life). GA

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