Happiness, and Putting Off Burnoutism

 One week of actual classes, three major projects, a show, a facepainting gig, exams, an audition… and sweet, delicious, beautiful freedom.

 In case you didn’t pick up on it from my reclusive behavior on here, or my attitude in general, I am done. I feel like I caught senioritis, but seeing as I’m only finishing grade 11, that’s a bit inconvenient. Perhaps I’ll just call it spring fever instead, to keep from getting ahead of myself.

Alright, there’s a vent to be had here, but  I have had far too many fun, cool- or at the very least, mildly interesting and bemusing- things happen that I would rather talk about than give a vent that’s been covered time and time again on this blog any more space.

So, things.

  • I had a bunch of life plans. But then I decided to throw them out. Which is simultaneously frightening and liberating. Instead I now have a fall back plan (go live the life of an Indie film with Gabe), and a whole whack of decisions to make sometime next year.
  • I have three more IB projects and then I’m done for the year. The problem is that i have no motivation to do them at this point. I’m not sure where I’m going to find this motivation, since I’m starting to use phrases like “my pre-summer evolution into a burnout”, but hopefully I’ll find some hidden resources at the bottom of a frozen lemonade. Three more. That’s all. I can do this.
  • I’ve started not caring about stuff as much. I’m going to have to rein this in sometime (and by sometime I mean this weekend, so I can finish off those final bitter drops of IB), but for now it’s actually just a huge relief.
  • Summertime is here. I have things I want to do, friends I want to visit, media I want to consume, adventures I want to take. And in less than two weeks, I can.
  • I was introduced to King Charles, and now everything is right with the world. My ears are happy as can be.
  • I found my self esteem again. Oh, yeah, that’s right, I am smart and attractive! Balancing confidence with humbleness is a tricky proposition, but just for this moment I’ll veer to the side of cockiness. Because liking myself is something that has fallen to the wayside for the last…indeterminate, but long, amount of time. Now that it’s back, I quite enjoy it.

 Really, I can’t fully cover everything, even using the beautiful invention of bullet points. There have been a billion things that have happened since I last posted. One big thing was *Dramafest, which was extremely stressful, but at the same time, I am so very very proud of my fellow cast members, and our student directors, who pulled through. I made two big discoveries because of Dramafest. 1) I can make it through a double hell week, while sick, and I’ll only mostly hate myself and my friends (the hate passed, don’t worry) by the end of it. 2) When in doubt, clear your throat before coming on stage. Otherwise, if you are sick and full of phlegm, you risk sounding like Satan.

 The second big thing was TEC, which was pretty freaking incredible. Maybe a tiny sprinkling of life altering. Not changing persay, but a little altering, if I can throw phrases like that around at the mature and ripe old age of sixteen. TEC is a place where crazy Jesus stuff goes down, and it’s hard to accurately describe without making most of the people who read this blog think I’m slightly deranged. Suffice it to say, it was good, really helped heal my relationship with God, and gave me a lot more peace than I originally had before going. Also, I got to be of service to other people, which made me pretty happy. I like being useful.

 I’m so glad the school year is almost over. Overall, I’m happy, which due to all the stress I’ve put myself under, is more than I’ve been in a long time.

 Kaelen

*Speaking of which, shameless plug time!!! If you find yourself in need of a show to watch, please come check out our public showings of Yesterday the Children Were Dancing, and the student written play Juicy. Thursday night, SJHS mini theatre, shows starting at 7 pm. Tickets are five dollars at the door.

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Unrelated Thoughts On Stuff

The title more or less sums up the following lump of text. Please keep the author of this blog’s current state of sleep deprivation in mind as you read this blog post.

Hairspray has the ability to make me love and depend on it’s sticky embrace, while at the same time cursing the day I ever met my plastic enemy. It’s like an abusive relationship; except since my hair is too short to need hairspray I was just spraying various guys’ hair with it for Jacob Two-Two. (Feel free to revel a moment in the irony that I have to do less to my hair then several boys of my acquaintance.) So I was the wingman to an abusive polyamourous bottle of hairspray.

…I really need to quit thinking these things out so much.

Speaking of Jacob Tw0-Two…t’was a good time! I got to dress up as crazy cat lady and act deranged on stage, in addition to helping with costuming/makeup in the various dressing rooms and backstage of the imperial.

However, seeing as last week I had a two person presentation which suffered from some terrible miscommunication, a common writing assessment, production week for the play, and TEC (a christian youth camp type thing happening this weekend) forms to worry about…I stressed just a little. …People were coming up to me and telling me to breathe/calmdown/DON’TPANIC/etc,etc preemptively by the end of it.  Like, they were worried that if they didn’t ward off my stress I might explode. Funnily enough the majority of the time that people were worried for my sanity I wasn’t even at full stressed potential. (my full potential for panic is amazingly large. I should really work on that before I turn into a twenty-first century, fifteen year old version of Mrs Bennet.)

Anyways, I am more or less done with my panicking (much to the thankfulness of all those who have to be around me every day) and am now back to basic Kaelen craziness, as opposed to stressedpanicyaaaaaa Kaelen craziness.

On an unrelated note, I went to see the Saint John Theater Company’s presentation of Romeo And Juliet last night. It was fun, and the actors’ body language explained many of the sexual puns that my English teacher last semester didn’t think need to be covered. (So that’s what “my pump is well flowered” means! It all makes a disturbing sort of sense now!) I was bugged by how some of my favorite parts were cut out, and some terrible technical difficulties that involved the entire computer screen being projected on the stage in one of the more intense scenes of the play. (Having the pop-ups covering the stage kinda breaks the mood of Juliet being verbally abused by her father…Just a little bit.)

These things aside, the play was good, the casting was well done (my favorite being Mercutio, who was spot on) and I would advise it to anybody who is in Saint John for the next little while.

Today is Friday, and I am so very, very glad. The majority of this week has felt like a sleepy sugar crash, with occasional spikes of energy some of which were;  flashmobbing an empty street with the rest of choir (people came out of their houses to clap for our kinda sucky flashmob that really just was of a group of teenagers running down a street repeatedly and trying to sing at the same time),  adventuring around uptown with Julia (questing for wi-fi and candy), and channeling my inner T-rex.

Please, enjoy your weekend and take The Be-Fezzed Doctor’s advice!

Kaelen.

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